gym rant #2.

why is it that every time i hear about someone working out, it's always followed with "i feel so great!" but when I decide to grace the treadmill with my presence, all i feel like doing afterward is throwing up/passing out? i'm starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me, biologically, that prevents my body from producing those "i feel like i could run a thousand miles and love it!" endorphins. i'm far from the definition of physical perfection, but i wasn't aware that i was THAT out of shape.

please kill me.

god, i hate the gym. but, as it turns out, i hate dieting even more and unfortunately, i was not blessed with the "skinny asian girl" gene. ok, before everyone starts rioting over how delusional i am to make that statement.. hear me out. i've experienced a place where about 90% of the girls weigh about a buck five, if that. this elusive spot is also known as the "asian nightclub". if you're asking yourself why i subject myself to this, i don't know. i'm asian. i have asian friends. that's where we used to go. and who knows, maybe these girls work out 2 hrs a day, 5 days a week but they aren't fessing up. so my only conclusion is that they were born with the natural inability to absorb calories. that or they have a mean meth habit.

in any case, i am not the owner of either choice A or B so my only options are to either eat raw vegetables (forever) or work out to offset all of the delicious fatty calories. i tried the raw veggie thing and it's not for me. i was pretty miserable for 2 weeks living off of tomatoes and gum, only to gain it back in one pathetic weekend of what i thought was more healthy than fast food (restaurant sandwiches.. are not) and carne asada fries (definitely not). what the eff, right? so now i'm eating what i want (yay tacos!) in moderation along with my still healthy weekday lunches and then trying to work it all off in 40 minutes of frenzied uphill power walking. i am very much the opposite of "in shape" so my knowledge of what works is very limited.

pan seared chicken salad.

felt like being healthy last night. that lasted a hot minute.. but i digress. in my quest for a low calorie meal, i came upon the genius idea that, yes, a salad would be a completely fulfilling dinner entree! and without using a recipe, i whipped this baby up. tadaaa!

threw together chopped romaine, roasted red pepper and halved cherry tomatoes. for the chicken, i used a mixture of olive oil, lemon juice and dried (although fresh would seem like an ok alternative) rosemary for the marinade. coated the chicken with mixture and threw it in an already hot pan. watch out for oil splatter. while one side was cooking, i seasoned the other with salt, black pepper and garlic powder. turned it over and did the same. after a few minutes, this was the result. doused the whole thing in balsamic vinaigrette and went to town. if my calculations (courtesy of the "lose it" iphone app and the ALWAYS trustworthy internet) are correct, then the entire thing should be less than 250 calories (i use light dressing). i don't measure my food (that's for crazy people! kidding) but i would guess there are about 2 1/2-3 cups of actual salad in there and the one lonely chicken breast.

one hour later, i was starving and demolished a ham and cheddar lean pocket. i think i will leave salad as beginner course from now.

going green....?

i am all for saving the environment when you can (hey, i recycle and try to find multiple uses for things that would be otherwise tossed out) but i feel like we are getting to a point (or have we always been here?) where companies/celebrities/society as a whole are giving the environmental guilt trip in order to make a profit. Ideally, we would all buy organic locally grown produce, use dinnerware made from 100% recycled lightbulbs and drive gas saving hybrid cars. realistically, this is highly unlikely. for one, saving the world costs a buttload of money. i know i know, isn't it worth it to spend that extra dollar knowing you are helping to increase the years of liveability (whatever) on this planet? it is but it's not practical and it's usually more than just "a dollar".

every month i check out target's red hot shop, a list of fun quirky items the store offers. this month's theme is generation green and they are offering a small log bowl made out of reclaimed trees (the website states that this means "not cut down without reason". does that mean the tree was on its way out already so they put it out of its misery? or does it mean they cut it down and the reason was to make this bowl? just saying.) for $49.99. really. a bowl made out of trees for $50. i know what you're thinking.. "what a deal!". some other things you can purchase: a cat scratching post made of carboard for $80, a pack of apple seeds for $20 (comes with a paper cup, so totally worth it!), a bike for $250 (correct me if i'm wrong, but a $100 bike is probably just as earth friendly as a $250 one), and a doggie sweater knitting kit for $55. let's all do the earth a favor and buy an already existing doggie sweater, so that we won't be mudering the planet even more when we throw that stupid kit out in the trash?

in this econonmy, it is not only impractical, but also improbable that people will want (or be able) to spend the extra money on this crap companies throw at us to make us feel like we are doing something good. to all of the elitest snobs, get your head out of your ass. you are not better than those of us who cannot afford to be "green" because you spent $30 on earth friendly soap made from recycled african dirt and giraffe shit. if you want to grow an apple tree, eat a fucking apple. i just saved you $19.50. you're welcome.

!!!!!!

i am lucky enough to have a boyfriend who knows what i like... and that would be imaginary fireballs aimed at pudgy babies.

john's coffee cake muffins

i wish i could eat this everyday, if it weren't so full of delicious delicious butterrrr. but if you are not worried about adding inches to your *insert your choice of body part here* then this is a perfect breakfast food/snack/dinner (hey, you could eat 3 or 4.. that counts as dinner, right?). or if you are a freak of nature who likes to run 39210832190 miles a day, then you too can partake in this delightful experience without feeling guilty.

i don't know this "john" guy, but the man knows his muffins. original recipe is from marthastewart.com. her site has yet to fail me as a resource, so i would spend a few minutes browsing around if i were you. the woman is a genius. she probably makes her own jelly beans and scotch tape.

john's coffee cake muffins

makes 17 cupcake sized muffins (for me.. normal people can probably get it to make an even number)

FOR STREUSEL
1 cup packed dark-brown sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled)
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

FOR MUFFINS
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pans (i used cupcake liners which work equally well)
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for pans
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pans
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sour cream
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs
confectioners' sugar, for dusting

prepare the streusel first. mix together all of the dry streusel ingredients and then cut in the butter using a pastry blender until it resembles coarse crumbs. if you are like me and too cheap to buy one, martha suggests using 2 butter knives. put in fridge until needed.

preheat oven to 350 degrees. mix together flour, baking powder and baking soda in a small bowl. set aside. in a medium bowl, mix together butter and sour cream. it's imperative your butter is room temperature if you don't have an electric mixture. try mixing a block of concrete with a wooden spoon and you will know what i'm talking about. add sugar and vanilla extract. add each egg, one at a time. gradually incorporate flour mixture.

here comes the annoying part. the batter does not flow like regular cupcake batter but it is still sticky. i guess in this case, not using liners would be easier. you won't have to struggle with spreading the batter out while simutaneously trying to prevent the liners from flying off the pan because your spoon, liner, and batter have joined together in a giant lovefest. use half of the batter to fill the cups. cover with half of streusel. cover again with remaining half of batter and one last time with remaining half of streusel. martha is clever in wording it this way because really, who actually sets aside half of the batter so they know when to stop? ok fine, maybe only me because i am lazy, but i just eyeball it. this is probably why i ended up with 17 muffins. bake for 25-30 minutes, until toothpick comes out clean from center. dust with sugar and enjoy!

on a side note, i used low fat sour cream. i don't like sour cream either way, so i figure it's not going to make a difference on my side. also, i used more cinnamon than the original recipe called for. like 3x more. and i would probably forgo the salt next time. i don't think it adds anything except that i can feel the individual salt crystals which is an insane idea that probably only exists in my head.